Good question; one that I’ve been asking myself a lot lately. I have avidly poured myself into blogging and staying connected online for various reasons (my book, my career, my need to indulge in the latest-and-greatest, juicy gossip, my desire to keep in touch with many near and dear people who live too far away to see/talk to on a regular basis and my acceptance of the fact that sometimes there is just nothing better for an occasional insomniac to do at 3 o’clock in the morning), and anymore, me without my laptop and joe just isn’t me at all. In fact, I practically live to share my latest thoughts with hundreds (or thousands) of other cyber companions. Sometimes I network to entertain, sometimes I do it to pass the time, sometimes it’s the closest thing to connecting with a friend that I can find. THAT’S what got my noggin’ throbbin’. I have friends & family (and a dog), I go out, I meet people – I have a very rich social life, and yet, I find myself entrapped by these online social networks that I have come to know as my own.

“So what?” I easily dismiss. “I have my reasons. I am not OBBSESSED.”

Puleeze! We all know that I am. The Internet has become my adulthood pacifier. I don’t think I could live without it.

Remember that scene in The Truman Show when Truman exits his ready-made life into the real word, and all of his loyal (obsessed) followers cheering him on are suddenly faced with a void they had not known in a long time? It was as if they had all waken from a coma, lost for a moment in their surroundings as if they had never really looked because the whole time they had been living vicariously through Truman. The void Truman’s followers faced was THEIR existence and what it had become (or not become) in the real world while they were busy following Truman on TV.

Will I one day suffer such a rude awakening, too? I’d like to think not.

However, it is a frightening prospect to consider while pondering the scope of what online networking has become; we may be alive; but who of us are really living? Just how deep are some of us sucked in? How many of us have fallen into a make-believe world where our friends are icons on the screen and we laugh alone at jokes and comments that should have been shared over dinner or drinks, but instead are buried as encrypted 1’s and 0’s in the social-cyber web we weave? How many of us turn to the Internet for companionship because we don’t know what else to do with ourselves? How many spend countless hours blogging and tweeting and tagging online each and every day?

I think we are all a little guilty of succumbing to the lure of online networking and the opportunities it doth offer – A chance to reconnect with long lost friends? A chance to lead a double life? A chance to meet people who aren’t privy to the skeletons in our closets? A chance to expose a few skeletons to others who understand? A chance to belong?

Whatever the reason we are initially drawn to join an online network, it seems that more and more, these cyber communities have become a preferred place to exist. It’s convenient, it’s uncommitted, seemingly “safe” and it can even be anonymous if you so choose. Previous college roommates can catch up on old times and soccer mom’s can chat with unregistered sex offenders all in one big, happy network. Shiggle my giggles, it’s GREAT!

Or is it? At what point does the appeal of online networking take priority over everyday interaction with peers? Anymore, it seems people prefer to trade passing smiles with loved ones for typing smiley faces on a monitor and laughing with friends at lunch for “LOL.” So why do we do it? Do we hide behind our online personas because we fear the social stigmas presented by flesh and bone? Are we trying to avoid the ridicule we may face for who we are, what we do, how we dress, what we eat? Do we prefer the abandonment of commitment cyber networks offer, allowing us to “catch up” with people at our leisure over the burden of a real-time friend calling at one in the morning because her boyfriend dumped her and she’s in desperate need of a real shoulder to cry on? Do we prefer the opportunity to make known our thoughts without regard for the consequences our words may befall? Is it a façade we can hide behind when given the opportunity to fabricate a new existence in which everything comes at face value, because no one knows (or cares to know) otherwise?

“The world is your oyster! Its name is Facebook…”

Oh the Web that weaves us!

I first caught this on Mashable via a Pete Cashmore tweet on Saturday: Dear Lily Allen: The File Sharing Debate Now Has Lyrics

The “open letter” to Lily Allen by Dan Bull is pretty funny, albeit long…  and, damn catchy.  I can’t get it out of my head… “Remember when pretended, Lily, that you were truly independent, Lily?  Faking like you made it all alone, but you were legally with Regal, part of Parlaphone – oh yeah!“

Then there was the season premier of SNL last night.  There were two awesome moments from that.  First: Newcomer Jenny Slater dropped the F-Bomb on live fucking television! (HuffPo has the video.)  HOT DAMN, JENNY!  Way to go.  Though we anticipate that this may make your run on SNL a short one, all us lady improvisers and sketch performers are stoked that the first f-bomb gaff came at the hands of a woman amongst the sausage fest at SNL… SNAP!

Then there is the fact that Megan Fox was ACTUALLY FUNNY in a sketch with Keenan Thompson.

The sketch was just really silly, it made me laugh out loud… My favorite is the “Jaberwocky.”

“Get down into your jabber position and wocky, wocky… wockywockywockywocky!”

I wish the whole show had been that funneh.  And, am I the only person who’s just over U2?  I might be.

I’m clearly too easily amused.  Back to work now!  Laters, H8rs!

Image via stuff that WAS cool.

Can I tell you a secret?  Yeah?  Cool.  Here it is: I am not in collusion with Bonnie and Ben (aka, the authors of the TFC).

It is extremely fucked up to be woken at 5:15 am by texts asking questions about this blog.

Here is another secret: the Internet?  Not serious business.  At all.  Please don’t ever text or call me about innerwebs dramz at 5:15 am — ever.

Omai.  Just when I swear I’m not going to acknowledge the jackassery of my former friends in public again, something happens that requires me to make comment.

Today I have learned that B&B are claiming that the TFC was in collusion with this blog as part of a grand and spectacular social experiment about Internet trolls.

Yeah.  Not true.

I am also told that they said that since “we” had enough material that they were retiring.

Mmmmm… we’ll see about that.

The fucked thing about that statement is that the TFC is pretty much the exact type of stupid thing that I *would have* collaborated with B&B on back in the day when we were still friends.  Bonnie is the person who on a cold and rainy November morning pointed me at Laughing Squid and Rick Abruzzo and whined about what a dick he was to her and planted the idea in my head that someone should knock him down a peg or two.  Now I owe the defacto mayor of San Francisco, Chicken John, 1,000 donuts delivered while dressed in a chicken suit.

So yes, the potential was there all along, and I was a fool not to recognize that after ending my friendship with these two geniuses wackjobs that perhaps my writing would be all the push they needed to fall off the cliff into the deep crevasse of Internet trollism.

Frankly, I think that the time and attention paid to posting on the TFC and the subsequent blogs about me, my life, my predisposition to piss people off online and my writing is really creepy.  The malice with which this bullshit was started by B&B hurts and makes me see red sometimes and act a fool others… But, outside of those two people, I give very little thought to the lot of you who troll this blog and are TFC members on the other blog.

Though it is amusing to me that this three month old blog has gone so meta that there are now four blogs that were started just to comment on it.

If I had to, I could probably guess the IDs of just about all of you… And, I promise you that I don’t give you nearly as much thought as you give to me.  I’m sure that there are one or two of you commenting over there who I would be shocked and hurt by if I ever found out who you are.

At the same time, I have no place in my life for people who won’t tell me to my face what they will say on blog about me.  I call chicken shit.  And, I kind of do hope that someday I find out who you are so that I can excise you from my life with precision using a scalpel like one would remove a tumor.  I have no use for that kind of negativity.  It’s toxic.

I am really busy.  I’m co-writing a book with Kati Kim, I am up to my fanny in alligators with freelance work and am trying to work on a book based on this blog.  I will be posting a sample chapter from it on my website later this week… take a look.

I started this blog because I noted the propensity of high drama starting anytime I said anything on the Internet.  It’s a joke, a farce, a calculated attempt to stir the pot.  I wanted to see what would happen and I have.  I will probably continue to post things I find interesting in social networking/online drama trends as I find them.  But, my editorial writing here has drawn to a close (with the exception of the Continuing Adventures of the Deposed Countess of Hohenzollern-Haigerloch).  I am giving over the muck raking to Ms. Rosey Posey and TL285.

Be nicer to them than you were to me.

Anonymity on the internet should be encouraged… it made the internet what it is today..the freedom of it that I, and so many others enjoy. I would imagine that yes, it hurts people sometimes, but just because someone occasionally drowns in a lake doesn’t mean you should drain the fucker. I say, make it even deeper…the world can’t support the amount of jackholes we have on it already.

But anyways…along with being a man of god (again, not a very good one), I am also many other things, first and foremost a nihilist of some degree…oh, and a social worker so I’m sure you can imagine how much easier my beloved nihilism makes that job…really. But being a nihilist allows me a certain sense of freedom, one I enjoy very much…

Did I mention Gavin Newsom is an asshole?

But yes, back to my nihilism…yes, I do know Kate Kotler; I have known her for years…approx 7 or 8…and to know her that long is to find fault…same as with anybody else. I know enough shit about Kate that if I put it up here, some of you out there might actually wet themselves with glee…but I won’t. Not going to do it…and that has nothing to do with my nihilism…actually it would explain why I say I have strong nihilistic tendencies, and am not completely carried over with it…for, I do actually have some respect, a touch of dignity when I feel like it, and a sense of loyalty, even when I feel that person may not deserve it. Not that I am saying this about Kate…more in general, but anyway…

Oh yeah…you people actually started a fucking blog to try to tear Kate a new one?

Really?

No….really?

That is the kind of tedious bullshit that helped me realize the low worth in (San Francisco’s Mission District) human friendship, and you two were once her friends…really?

Sure, we all get mad at each other once in awhile and we fall in and out of friendship…but shit, this whole situation is fucking ridiculous. Kate tells me she’s doing this because she’s writing a book so at least that’s an excuse…what the hell is up with the rest of you? Maury Povich in reruns? Netflix not in the mail, again? American Idol on hiatus? The Mission become too old school? Dealers running dry? What?

Let it go, man….ever stop and think that if Kate is writing a book all you’re doing is helping her out? Your arch-enemy…your whatever the hell…

When most people fall out of friendships, they simply move on…Hell, I do…there’s a reason I never opened a Facebook account…had a lot of friends over the years but after I moved on, moved cities, did whatever…I can’t say I really wanted to  to get re-acquainted with any of them, and since I don’t, I certainly don’t give a fuck what any of them are up to now…but apparently Facebook wasn’t good enough for you…

You started a blog…

Fucking really?

Well, I guess we know how Bush got a second term in office. I remember waking up the morning after he won, and turning to the woman I was seeing at the time and telling her…I don’t ever want to hear you criticize me again when I say that Americans are fucking stupid. And much like I used to wonder where San Francisco kept the really overweight people (Oakland Raider home games) I wondered that morning where all these stupid people were ( I was guessing the Midwest), where all these people are who get themselves so wrapped up in whatever tiny, two plus two equals ten reality that they would so obviously vote against their own interests…and again, I was sure it was the Midwest, or maybe the South…but apparently I was wrong. Apparently self importance is spreading and spreading ugly all the way to the Bay area…

Did I mention that C.W. Nevius has a Christ complex and like all martyrs and mediocre writers he should be crucuified to the fucking cross?

A blog…

No shit.

Anonymity is fine by me, but obsessives are a curious lot, not that I am all that curious…my nihilistic tendencies don’t really allow it. I guess I just wish the lakes were deeper, so more people might fall in and un-clutter the gene pool a bit. And perhaps my criticism are unfair as I really don’t know any of you…but, I don’t really want to (don’t really want to know anybody) and as I said, I don’t really care all that much so unfair or not…whatever. You’ll get over it…or maybe not.

Maybe you’ll just keep up the line by line criticisms of her writing, or my writing, or whatever you have to do to keep your focus away from the fact you apparently have too much time on your hands and dead air in your thoughts…

BTW…I would imagine that many of you are perhaps, book smart to some degree…despite what I wrote earlier…and that being the case…ya ever fucking hear of…”projection?”

Now…feel free to go ahead and pick this apart, make fun, criticize…no worries…not that important…I really don’t have anything to prove to anybody and nobody to apologize too, except maybe to God, but since I’m not that good, I tend to forget about church on Sunday…

A blog.

You people are fucking ridiculous.

Hopefully, you’re writing a book too…Jesus I hope so cause word is Cheney might run for president.

So, thanks for reading and have a good night all…

I gotta go now, watching Maury on the Tivo.

TL285

Photo courtesy of Ze Frank's Last.FM page.

Via TIME Online…

Ze Frank Throws A Tea Party

I appeal to you again, Ze Frank, please come to SF and whisk me away to your land of awesome funny poltical commentary… please?  I LURVE you.

He's a rogue, he's a diabolical villan, he's TL285

His name sounds like a robot name (which is cool) but in fact, he’s a real person, who has approached me asking to contribute to this blog while I am working on other projects.

Please give a warm H8ful welcome to Mr. TL285.  I’ll let him jump right in and do what he does best… piss people off.

To clarify: He’s not anonymous, he’s revealed his identity to me, but is choosing to write under an alias… so he escapes my “no anonymous posting” dictate.  He further disagrees with me about the YOYOW issues and is pretty adamant that he be given free reign on the blog to do as he wishes… I’m gonna say otay to that.  We’ll see what happens.

Enjoy!

I finally had to draw the line with Bonnie Bowes and Ben Acevedo, (the authors of the TFC,) and send cease and desist letters to them via email and snail mail.  They crossed multiple lines in posting about me and I was encouraged to put my foot down by multiple people who care about me.  The thought was/is that if I just continued to ignore them, after they clearly violated my privacy and clearly violated copyrighted works, that I would be as complicit in what they were doing as I would be if I continued to interact with them either on this blog or the TFC.

So, I tried to resolve the issue privately by sending cease and desist emails to them, imploring them to take my content and personal information down.  Of course this set them off and they republished my emails on their blog.  Which – frankly – made me see red for a bit, as it’s very frustrating to try to approach a problem reasonably, only to have the individuals you’re trying to open dialog with respond irrationally.  But, after confering with people much wiser than I am (both in my private and professional life) I was reminded that I know that I cannot control the behavior of others, I can only control how I react to it.

I have to say, that the siege that these two former friends have launched on me since mid-summer is exhausting, both physically and emotionally.  They have worn me out to the point where I don’t care what they say about me 99% of the time, I just do not have the energy to deal with it.  To be completely honest: I moved out of the apartment with Bonnie to get away from her and from Ben and from the toxic friendships I had with them both and to cleanse myself of the toxicity of the people who I was surrounded by when they were part of my immediate life.  It is my own fault that I have allowed them to continue to have a presence in my life and while I am frustrated that I cannot disengage with them six months out from having walked away from them, I firmly believe that I am meant to learn something from this situation.

I have not behaved as my higher self and I have made a lot of mistakes in dealing with this situation.  Whatever those lessons are, I am learning them and dealing with it.  I will not put up with their behavior any further and I will not sink to their level again.  Sending the cease and desist letters is my line in the sand and if it is crossed again, I will not discuss it or react to what they have done in public, I will simply act upon it in private.  Period.  The time for bullshit and juvenile behavior has passed, there are some things which are simply unacceptable to me and I will not tolerate anyone behaving as such towards me.

Moving forward: I am putting my foot down as far as conduct is concerned on this blog.  Both for myself, the people who have volunteered to write for this blog while I am working on other projects and people commenting on what is written here.  Yes, this blog is about discussing Internet dramz and shenanigans and fucking with people, but there is a way to have that conversation and perform those actions without being assholes and taking the low road or behaving in the manner which we are most critical of in others.

Therefore: there are now rules for posting and commenting here.  I have enacted Tim O’Reilly’s Blogger Code of Conduct.  Here are the most important take-aways from these rules:

• I own my own words and am responsbile for the content that is published here.  The buck stops with me.  I will be in charge of deciding what is and is not appropriate content for this blog.  I will lead by example and will not sink to the level of trolls or griefers or assholes who try to pick fights with me.
• Writers on this blog, myself included, will not say things in this forum that we would not say in public, face-to-face with the person we are saying it to.
• When someone is behaving inappropriately, we will tell them so.  First in private, then if the behavior continues, in public.
• Anonymous commenting and posting is not allowed on this blog.  People may use an alias, but they must provide a valid email address to the administrator of this blog before they are allowed to comment or post here.
• Each individual must be accountable for their own actions.
• Abusive and inappropriate comments and posts will be deleted.  If an individual continues to make abusive and/or inappropriate comments or posts on this blog they will not be allowed to participate in the conversation here.

If you don’t like the changes, go somewhere else.

Cheers,
Kate

Not-so-anonymous speech: how to get yourself un-masked online

I have too much work to do to be splitting my focus on things that could be construed at negative influence.

I don’t know if Ms. Rosey Posey will be posting, she might be… But, me… cya later, alligators!

I’m writing a book and have four freelance articles to complete before I can spend anymore time dicking around with you jackholes.

(I say jackholes in the fondest way, of course.)

Um, yeah – suck it people – that’s completely false.  Please attend the blog of one Ms. Kelly Clarkson:

I Am Kelly: Random Thoughts by Me

Note the shit-stirring post about Douchebag Kanye West’s outburst last night at the VMAs during Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech.

For those of you who don’t know WTF I’m talking about, check out Perez (a fellow shit-stirrer, tho’ he does quite out class me – I am the Kathy Griffin to his Cher) and US magazine for the deets.

If Ms. Clarkson was only my guilty pleasure songstress before, she surely is my true love now.  Rock it, Kelly!

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