Finally, 4Chan shows itself to be useful…

July 17, 2009

So, a while back, I got this very interesting comment on a really old blog post on Adorkable Grrl:

Tired of a competitor’s site? Hinder the enemy? Fed pioneers or copywriters?
Kill their sites! How? We will help you in this!
Obstructions of any site, portal, shop!

Different types of attacks: Date-attack, Trash, Attack, Attack, etc. Intellectual…
You can work on schedule, as well as the simultaneous attack of several sites.

On average the data [shows,] [once] ordered the site falls within 5 minutes after the start [of the attack.] As a demonstration of our capabilities, allows screening.

Our prices:

  • 24 hours of attack – $ 70
  • 12 hours of the attack – $ 50
  • 1 hour attack – $ 25

Contact via ICQ: [REDACTED ICQ NUMBER]

Whoever is posting this comment on blogs that are prone to the dramz (I know more than one person with a prepensity for innerwebs shit flinging who’s gotten this comment deep in their blog archive) is FUCKING BRILLIANT!

I have long been loudly outspoken about how useless I think that 4Chan has become.  If you’re unfamiliar with this group (as most people who have lives offline are) 4Chan is a kabal of angry or bored anonymous Internet Trolls and  semi-genius hackers who are at their best known for claiming to have started or starting (depending on who you talk to) HI-LARIOUS innerweb memes such as LOLCats, Rickrolling and the Chocolate Rain phenomenon.  (I suspect they are somehow responsible for William Hung’s 15 minutes of fame, too…)  They are also – reportedly – responsible for my favorite website ever Encyclopedia Dramatica.

Sidenote small nod of approval to ED: Though I have said a lot of shit about ED over the years (any surprise that ED also stands for “erectile dysfunction?”  You do the math,) I have to say that when not attacking me or people I know, ED is a pretty reliable source of scatalogical humor.  It appeals to the part of me that likes poop and dick jokes as much as it horrifies me at how yucky people can be to people they don’t know IRL when they’re posting anonymously on these here innerwebs.

One of the lesser known functions of 4chan is that they are pretty notorious for launching spam, flame and in some cases (extremely high level) DOS attacks on virtual worlds and message boards.  It’s important to note that 4Chan started in 2003 as a message board devoted to manga and anime, thusly it should be no surprise that the hostile ‘Net attacks they particpate in under the umbrella of “Anonymous” tend to target manga, anime, MMO, MMORPG, virtual world and avatar websites.

Before I worked at Meez.com I *kinda* knew about 4Chan.  While working at Meez I became super familiar with their signifiors and tactics; as, it is really common these days that people will launch a poorly organized and mostly ineffectual attack on some site that has “wronged” them in the name of Project Chanology.

Seriously, I think the old skool black hat hacker dudes who initially thought stuff like this was amusing are now working for the NSA and in the security departments at big tech corporations and are rightfully bazillionaires.  The mid-levels who are still capable of really wreaking havoc online are now approaching their mid-30s and have things better to do with their time than muck around on the innerwebs.  And, that leaves the 13- um… 25 year olds (at the outside) who are left to carry the 4Chan torch.

The thing is, that in recent years, with the exception of the Anonymous Attack on Scientology (which fizzled out much quicker than I would have liked to see, as it was actually INTERESTING and meaningful innerwebs tomfoolery) 4Chan has really become… um… useless.

*ducks hoping that Channers will not hurt her for pointing out the obvious*

Seriously.  All due respect, 4Chan is a very interesting socilogical example of Internet anonymity gone awry, but when the inmates are left to run the asylum you know that something is kinda dead.

Long way around the initial thesis, yes?  Finally!  All that criminal mastermind is put to good use in something that is not only a valuable service (to some,) but also a viable business model that if played right will make the perpetrators a metric shit ton of that stuff known as M-O-N-E-Y!

Granted, they might get busted as cyber-terrorists by men dressed in black swinging into their dens of inequity on ropes, ala the movie Hackers…  But if not… think of the possibilities!  What a fucking unique way to obliterate your competition!  It could almost be considered “Internet Robin Hoodism for Hire.”

Or, not.

Disclaimer: Kate Kotler in no way supports cyber-terrorism or illegal activities.  This is a purely observational and theoretical blog post.

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5 Responses to “Finally, 4Chan shows itself to be useful…”

  1. Turd Fergison Says:

    Yawn, yet another Kate Kotler attempt at trying to grasp for relevance. It was old a year ago and it is moldier now. Mathematics has solved your problem in a very simple equation.

    Y=XC

    Where as the Tired Old Story is Y. X is the unnecessary drama you create and C is you, the constant of the variation.

    If you are constantly the victim or abused by “trolls” on the ‘netz, the interwebz or whatever tween slang you’ve picked up this week. You might want to look at what is at the center of the drama, you.

    • adorkablegrrl Says:

      “Woot, Woot that’s the 11:15pm Hate Train pullin’ into the Kotler station.”

      Amazing how I take shit even when I COMPLEMENT the trolls on being clever and useful.

  2. rosieposey Says:

    kate. this is your internet pastor. you missed your prayer meeting.


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