I’m a bitch, I’m lover…

July 20, 2009

It occurs to me, often, if the people who don’t actually know me, yet classify me as a “bitch” (or, other varients of the concept that word encapsulates in the syntax of “Kate Kotler is a BITCH,”) that if those people ever heard actual conversations that went on between me and the people closest to me they would think I was the devil in a black sundress.


I just got off the phone with my Lackie/Bestie and Internet Pastor, Rosie; and, while I will not reveal the contents of said conversation I will say that it was one which should be in the record books.  Were I to, say, post a recording of that conversation – I’d be the devil and Rosie would be my devilette helper.

Stu says to me when discussing the new column I’m going to write for his site, “That sounds great, Kate – just remember – the snarkier the better.”

Um – HELLO – who are you talking to?  I’m acerbic and abrasive and sarcastic and REALLY SNARKY all the time… not a problem to add that into the DIY column, Stu… Not a problem at all.

The thing that bugs me – I suppose – no, not BUGS me – because to say that would be to imply that I’m emotionally connected to what people say about me and/or purport to think about me – which I 98.5% could give a shit less about…

The thing that makes me RAISE MY EYEBROW about people calling me a bitch or an attention whore or claiming that I play the victim or start online drama is that I am really only one of a gazillon people who behaves the way I do either in their lives or online… It’s just when I sneeze online people seem to flip the fuck out and see it as me starting drama – when in reality – I just fucking sneezed.

You know a much more appropriate response to calling me names would be “Bless you, Kate – seems you sneezed there.”

Who knows the whys and wherefores of it; it is what it is.  Though part of me really wants to clarify a couple of points about myself:

  1. Yes, I’m a bitch.  I have no problem what-so-ever with being a bitch, either.  If that is how you need to rationalize the fact that I’m a strong woman who won’t take shit from people, then okay… I’m a big ‘ole bitch, baby!
  2. I’m an attention whore – of COURSE I am – everyone who goes online and blogs or writes or posts shit on the Internet is an attention whore just like me, though.
  3. I start drama online.  Yah, so the fuck what?  So do you.  Get over it.  Again, I go back to this statement:

If y’all heard about what my friends and I talk about when we’re NOT ONLINE your little pea brains would explode and you’d start hallucinating a vision of me in horns and a red cape.  Fer relazie.

This is what really bothers me:

When people tell me I am “PLAYING THE VICTIM:”

That’s just insulting.  I am a victim of nothing except my own ego and stupidity; and, I won’t play the role of victim of anything else for the general YOU of people reading this blog.  (Or, anything else that I’ve ever written online or said online that’s been reposted or I’ve been quoted as saying or purported to have said.)

Really one of the only things you can say to me to really get me angry about online bullshit is to tell me that I’m “playing the victim.”  That is because I’ve spent the better part of adult life NOT playing the victim and NOT letting the shit that has happened to me that isn’t peaches and cream perfect define my life.

People who actually know me – as in real friends and my family – can support me on that claim.

If I really wanted to “play the victim” I have shit in my past which would be much-much-MUCH more sympathetic material Ithan some stupid fucking troll coming after me online due to whatever and me reacting poorly to it.  Really.  Perspective, people.  Please.  I am a person with a real past and real troubles just like you.  What you see online doesn’t represent me and it’s really kind of stupid of YOU if you think it does.

I wouldn’t presume to ever say that about anyone – not even those who I’m pretty damn sure ARE playing the victim – because it’s a shitty judgment to make about someone who you couldn’t possibly know well enough to make it.

I am not and have never been and will NEVER be “that girl who plays the victim.”  Ugh, makes me shudder to even think about.

Okay – rant over – we now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

(Edited because I was bothered that the word count was 666.)


4 Responses to “I’m a bitch, I’m lover…”

  1. Anna Says:

    How many more times do you plan to write about yourself, what people may or may not think of you, and how you don’t care?

    • adorkablegrrl Says:

      Well you know, Anna, this is my blog so I suppose that I intend to write about myself whenever I feel inspired to do as such.

      And, clearly you’re not reading the post carefully if you’re taking away that I don’t care what people think about me, in fact the whole point of the post was that I DO care about what people think of me and am pretty sure that if they react as such to the crap that I do online (which is really… just pretty… normal) then I wonder what would happen if they heard some of the RL conversations my friends and I have (which are not normal.)

      At any rate, thanks for reading and your question.

      Chin, chin!

  2. Turd_Ferguson Says:

    “I am a victim of nothing except my own ego and stupidity”


    Best quote and self-burn ever!!!
    You won a million internetz!

    • adorkablegrrl Says:

      Thanks for the big tasty cup of hateraid, *coughmickcough* I mean Turd. Reliable as always.

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