And, now a note from Ms. Manners… play nice in the sandbox w/the pr hacks & brand ambassadors.

July 29, 2009

I missed BlogHer ’09 in Chicago last weekend.  This is an event I’ve been trying to work my schedule so that I could attend since 2006.

Though, there are some less than favorable reports coming in via the innerwebs about the behavior of people attending BlogHer this year; so I’m wondering if I a.) missed a good opportunity to do a story about people behaving badly, or b.) missed a conference where I would have been tearing my hair out due to witnessing people behaving like entitled jerks.

The main crux of the unfavorable reporting is surrounding people’s reactions to the higher level of marketers and sponsors at this year’s conference.  Big con’s like this are very expensive; and, of course Elisa, Lisa and Jory use companies who want their brands in front of the many, many blogger eyes attending to fund the conference.

And, honestly, the bloggers want those brand placements, too; because, securing sponsors/advertisment placements are the only real ways other than merchandise or pay-per-click services in that you can monetize a blog.

Blogging doesn’t pay the big bucks, people… well, unless you’re Perez Hilton or or Gawker.

Last weekend, while I was at CCI in San Diego, I jokingly taunted someone with the words “dude, don’t piss me off – just remember I’ve got the power of the blog.”

I was totally joking, of course; and, the person I was talking to knew that.  Blogs, while they can be powerful forces for good, are still pretty low down on the media totem pole.  Blogging is still kind of looked at as the bastard child of legitimate journalism to some degree – just look at how hard we have to work to chase down stories.

So it is troubling to me that many of the accounts of of BlogHer ’09 are focused around reports my fellow femme blogger peoples acting like entitled little shits in search of schwag.

In particular, this story REALLY made me shudder; and, no – not because this woman was threatening bad pub over a pair of plastic shoes.  Because it was just such a STUPID move on her part to even think that was a tactic which could work to get her what she wanted to achieve (ie: a free pair of ugly shoes.  No offense, Crocs guy – they’re great for gardening and little kids – but, I would never wear a pair of Crocs outside of my backyard, ever.)

I mean, how could someone who is attending BlogHer (so theoretically is a *little* tuned into online media and how it works) be so fucking dumb as to try that tactic?

Again: bloggers are the bastard children of legtimate media in the eyes of many, many corporations/publications/press agencies and (let’s just face it) people who are READING blogs.  They are still considered by many to be folly or hobby or worse.  Unless you write a WILDLY sucessful blog (and, we’re talking in mil clicks per post) or for a larger “blogging network” (like BitchBuzz) that positions itself as an online publication, you don’t have diddly squat in terms of influence to these people.  (As illustrated by Crocs guy when he said “I make it a point to know the PLAYERS in this sphere.  She was a nobody.”  Harsh, yes… but…)

Bloggers HAVE TO KNOW that if they hope to achieve larger success that they not only have to be nice/gracious to pr hacks & brand ambassadors; but, they have to court relationships, get friendly, get them on your side so that you can land the big story.

Threats are not the way to do that.

Pleasant conversation, a mutual level of respect as a professional, the occasional ass kiss placement piece to help them and just plain old being NICE are much better ways to get what you want (a product to review, an interview) than stupid and empty threats are.  Not just in the writing/blogging world, but in life, in general.

Example: How hard have I been chasing my interview with David Tennant?  I haven’t gotten what I’ve wanted and I could easily vent my frustration about that online in a nasty way that slags the BBC PR peeps.  But, what would that achieve?

I’ll tell you what: pissing off the BBC so that they don’t want to work with me ever again is what it would achieve.

And, god I don’t fucking want that.  Besides, all the Beebers I’ve met are very lovely, working really hard to give me my fair shake at an interview with one of the relevant persons I’m hoping to cover and so up to their fannies in allegators working the press tour for Doctor Who that they all have this slightly dazed/crazed look around them… Meaning: they’re hella bizzay people.  Give them a break.

Not just as a blogger or freelance writer or whatever – but, as a human – it’s really important to remember that you’re NEVER entitled to anything.  Life and it’s experiences are a privilege.  Remember that.

The neg press towards BlogHer seriously bums me out.  I know Elisa from the She’s Geeky Un-Conferences; and, many of the lovely women I count in my circle of peers are ones who are directly connected with BlogHer in one respect or another.  I know how hard these women have worked since 2005 to bring together the community of woman who are writing blogs – from the big to the small – and, to have people acting a fool, making their conference look somewhat bad is so distressing to me.

Check out this related coverage:


24 Responses to “And, now a note from Ms. Manners… play nice in the sandbox w/the pr hacks & brand ambassadors.”

  1. turd_ferguson Says:

    The fact you think you are a real dyed in the wool newshound is almost as funny as how you think you are a ‘net celebrity. Chasing down your Doctor Who crush at Comic-con was the best investigative journalism since Lois Lane was searching for the identity of Superman.

    Delusion is a savage thing to watch.

    • adorkablegrrl Says:

      TWO glasses of fresh squeezed hateraid, yum-yum!

      Geezus Mick – I’m sorry, I mean TURD – don’t you have an actual job or something? Your obsession with saying shitty things to me online borders on the creepy. Does Lauren know this is how you spend your time?

  2. the girlfriend Says:


    Im am POSITIVE that Mick hasn’t spent two shits even THINKING about you, let alone reading your blog.

    The fact that you think that this is him is pretty funny, but apparently more people in the world than just him think you are ridiculous and shouldn’t be blogging.

    He didn’t even know this blog existed…till I pointed him in this direction.

    I’m done.

    • adorkablegrrl Says:


      He’s admitted it and other bullshit online shenanigans spamming my posts other places & the ED shit to other people, Lauren.

      I wasn’t going to bust him on… but, fuck it.

      I’m done too. Really done. With both of you.

  3. the girlfriend Says:

    for a hot minute i defended you. but seriously…you need to get out of your skewed reality. you are delusional. you always have been, and now i FINALLY see that.

    • adorkablegrrl Says:

      Defended me? When was that, Lauren? When you were making shitty comments to me or about me?

      I defended you – I’ve always, no matter how shitty you appeared to be towards me – DEFENDED you – going waaaaayyyy back there into the annals of history. To many, many people. I’m not surprised; but, saddened to see that you really are who people have said you are.

      Cheers. Have a nice life. GTFO my blog now, if you don’t care that much and think I’m delusional it shouldn’t be that fucking hard…

  4. roseyposey Says:

    THAT IS IT KATE. I am so tired of your internet whoring. I am tired of your drama tactics. I am sick of your writing!!!

    Well, you know what I am going to do about it? I am *going to read the shit out of your blog* Yep. I am going to read it and check the comments and everything. Oh yes. I am going to show you that I am so over your crap, I have to comment on it constantly, damnit. Feel my indifferent wrath!

    But I am not done yet…I have decided that you are worth so little of my time that I am going to make pissy passive aggesive comments on your facebook. Regularly. Oh, yeah get ready to be reminded weekly how little I care about you.

    I am done!

  5. roseyposey Says:

    And by done… I mean I am leaving another pissy comment.

  6. roseyposey Says:

    Typical Evening Convo…

    a:Are You Coming To Bed?

    b:I can’t this is important.


    b:Kate is being dramatic on the internet.

  7. Turd Ferguson Says:

    I don’t know who this Mick is, but he certainly isn’t me. The fact you would vilify someone so readily, a person that didn’t even know your blog existed, shows more to your character than any of these self-important posts.

    Certainly not Mick,


  8. Turd Ferguson Says:

    Witty comeback. I can wait for you to find another witty comeback on someone else’s site, copy and paste it here and claim it as your own, then we’ll all have a good laugh.

  9. Turd Ferguson Says:

    You need me on your site. I’m coughkatecough suspecting you may be answering your own replies.

    • adorkablegrrl Says:

      LMFAO. Oh Turd… I think I might be becoming fond of your idiocy.

      Please – keep on posting shitty comments – it only sends my metrics higher and higher. You are very useful in that respect.

      Srsly now, got to go, stuffs to do… *pats Troll head*


  10. roseyposey Says:

    Sorry. Calling a kabosh on the “drinking Turd hateraid” comment. That was gross Kate. I don’t need that thought hovering over my latte.

    And did Ferguson(I cannot in good conscince call him by his christian name) accuse you of being him or me?

    That comment was not clear. Someone did not use the “cough,cough” internet idiom correctly.

    • adorkablegrrl Says:

      Aw, man you ruin EVERYTHING Rosie!

      No I didn’t even think of how gross that is until now; but, I find it kind of funneh at the same time.

      I’ll switch “Turd” to “Ferguson” if it doth offend…

      RE: accusations of being him or you – I’m not sure, I was a little confused by that comment, too. But, I attributed that to troll stupidity and just moved past it.

      Clearly I’m not you – as there are way too many people out there who will substantiate that while we occasionally share a brain – we ARE two different people.

      And, clearly I’m not him – because if I were going to pretend to be a troll I think I’d pretend to be one a.) with a better name, b.) who was able to use the “cough, cough” idiom correctly, c.) who trolled relevantly – as in: didn’t post bullshit comments slagging me for nothing.

  11. roseyposey Says:

    ….also, accusing yourself of being yourself to antagonize yourself is about a half step away from repeatedly yelling “Communism was just a red herring”

  12. Turd Says:

    Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

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