Sad obsession…

August 4, 2009

Here’s how little I care about the “Turd Fergison Collective.”  I don’t read it.  I have to be told by others what’s being said about me.  My family, friends, employers and in-between are reading that drivel and reporting back to me about what’s being said.

I find it pretty sad that the individuals responsible for that blog have enough time in their supposedly busy and fulfilled lives to spend all this time and energy talking about my life.  Sunday I spent all day in Santa Cruz with my dog and my friend T; and, when I got home there were these really-really wordy, lengthy comments on my blog from them.  This was after I had told them I wouldn’t publish their comments any further on this blog.

This was after THEY SAID they wouldn’t be posting comments on my blog anymore.  (*coughliarscough*)

Someone is on a hell of a bender over in the Mission – that’s for sure.

I started this blog as something that would be silly and amusing to me to write while I’m working on getting my professional website up and running.  Sadly, these two have turned it into something I now don’t want to even look at.

I have contacted legal counsel and am contemplating how to deal with the situation at hand.  I’ve kind of compiled a list of shit they have said about me on their brilliant new blog via report.  Apparently “Kat” has launched a campaign asking people reading the blog to email Stu over at Broke-Ass Stuart’s Goddamn Website asking him not to let me write for him.

Thankfully Stu has a good head on his shoulders and emailed me to ask what was up.  I explained what was going on and he was very sympathetic as to the situation.

I was also told that “Kat” has ranted about my relationship with my Mom.  I find that particularly hilarious; as, “Kat” more than once benefited from the kindness of my Mom or another member of my family.

It shouldn’t be shocking to me now that she would flip it around to the negative.  But it is.  Regardless of anything that “Kat” could ever do to me or say about me (either in person, or online) I’d never bring up her relationship with her mom or sister or dad as a topic to be critical about.  There are just some lines you don’t cross.

Just to clear up some rumors: My Mom didn’t buy me an iPhone (I don’t have an iPhone, I have a shitty Razr I bought for myself.)  My Mom AND Dad did buy me a Macbook as a birthday/Christmas gift last year because my other computer kicked the bucket and I needed a computer.  My Mom doesn’t fly me all over the world on expensive trips.  She flies me home (as in OHIO, hardly fancy or foreign) twice a year – for Christmas and for our family vacation in the summer.  Often, as I have been telecommuting for the past three years or so, I have worked while on those excursions.

Yes, my Mom paid my rent.  Twice.  My parents have more money than me; and, were the situation reversed and they were in need I’d surely help them.  Because that’s what families do.  Help each other.

Yes, I have been mostly unemployed for the past year.  Before that I worked 80 hour weeks and was available 24/7 to the people I managed – which kind of burned me out.  Right before I was laid off of my 9-5 job I was diagnosed with a really serious neurological problem.  I’ve spent almost $10k at this point on medical bills; and, have been undergoing extremely painful treatments to try and rectify the problem to a point where I can live a healthy life.

For seven months I was unable to work due to these treatments and my general health.  “Kat” was SOOOO sympathetic.  She constantly made me feel bad about being sick (telling me once “I didn’t sign up to live with someone who has a serious illness, Kate.”)  She said really horriable things about me and my life to our friends and my own brother and constantly criticized me.  At several points she suggested I go home to Ohio or move in with my brother.

I’m a little cash poor because of the medical stuff.  So fuck me gently for having a family with which I have good relationships; and, who are willing to help me when in need.  I’m sorry if that’s not the case with her – but – to position it as some sort of flaw?  Just lame.

As much damning information as the pair of them might have on me – I have the same on them.  I lived with “Kat” for a year and a month; and, she’s certifiably crazy.  Which is why I moved out.  My friend Rosie said something in comments a while back — these are not good people — they really aren’t.  And, for every person who goes to that blog and praises her sick obsession with me there are five people who go there and report back saying “Kate you need to do something about this, it’s CREEPY.”

These are not good people

Let’s review a few of “Kat” and “Turd’s” finer moments in the time that I knew them:

Their histrionics wrecked my birthday last year; and, “Kat” had to sleep in bed with me after my birthday party because she was sooooo upset that she and “Turd” had gotten into a fight and he’d walked out of our apartment.  The next day (my actual birthday) “Turd” showed up on our doorstep wanting to talk to “Kat” and how “Kat” refused to see him; and, dispatched myself and another friend of ours to talk to him and ask him to leave.  “Turd” wouldn’t leave and started shit with me AND the other friend to the point that I was about a step from calling the cops on him.

Or, let’s talk about how last Christmas “Kat” went to a party at my brother’s house (which, yes, I’d invited her to) and at such party she acted like a complete drunken idiot – to the point that she nearly got into a physical fight with one of my brother’s work friends – and, when she left the party she STOLE A FRAMED PHOTO OF MY BROTHER’S DOG.

I actually thought the stealing a picture of the dog thing was pretty funny – I actually wrapped it back up (after cleaning off the coke she’d been snorting off the picture frame) and gave it to my brother & sister-in-law for Christmas.  They thought it was weird -but, funny- though my brother made a comment about “Kat’s” sanity at the time that I should have listened to.

We could talk about “Kat” and “Turd” having MAJOR blowouts that woke up myself and the other young woman we lived with on a pretty much nightly basis.  Or, how “Kat” would come bursting into my room at 2 or 3 am, crying – not knowing how she got home – asking to borrow my phone to call “Turd” because somewhere between the door and her bedroom she’d lost said phone.

We could talk about the night that “Kat” called “Turd” FORTY TIMES asking him where he was.  We could talk about how after that “Turd” complained about her to me on a daily basis – saying that he was going to break up with her – to the point that I told him that unless he actually broke up with her I wouldn’t listen to his bullshit whining about her any further.  And, how “Turd” would break up with her BY CHANGING HIS FACEBOOK RELATIONSHIP STATUS (see BAS GD Website for a great post by Anna about that nonsense.)  Only to return to her  arms less than 48 hours later.  Rinse and repeat about fifty more times in the year I lived with “Kat.”

These are just the minor occurrences.  I won’t get into the deep and ugly cesspool of her mind any further.

These are not the actions of a sane or well woman, people.  And, while I think that “Turd” is pretty sane (most days) he’s a whiny bitch about “Kat” and is clearly egging on her ridiculous behavior to distract her from taking shit out on him.  (Not the first time he’s done that, actually.)

“Kat” has a screw loose; and, just about everyone who knows her or is/was close to her knows she’s nucking futs.  She goes through friends like Kleenex; and, every “close friend” who “Kat” has has at one point or another been the outlet on which she liberally poured her particularly venemous brand of crazy.  Some have stuck around and worked through it – some have walked away from her completely – some engage with her on a semi-regular basis and trade crazy punches.

I don’t want to be either someone who remains in her life; or, someone who trades crazy punches with her.  So this post is the end of the story for me.  I have been asked by the attorney I’ve consulted about this matter to “unpublish” and preserve the two blog posts in which this drama exploded with “Kat” and “Turd.”  And, not to comment on the situation further.

I initially emailed them asking them to stop; because, this was a situation which was getting out of hand and were going to have real consequences on them and on me.  I’ve repeated that request several times.  Their way of “stopping” is to create a blog dedicated to trashing me… The ONLY purpose that blog has is to hurt me.  And, it has…

Just ask yourself this: Is it reasonable behavior to spend the amount of time it takes to create, write and publish a blog and dedicate that time to trashing another individual??  It’s not.  They follow my blogs, my Facebook and my Twitter accounts.  I don’t follow ANY of theirs.  I couldn’t tell you what “Kat” and “Turd” are doing day-to-day because I haven’t spoken to either one of them since this past MARCH.  They clearly – CLEARLY – know waaaayyy more about what’s going on with me (or so they think) as they are able to post summaries of my day-to-day activities.

People are welcome to assess my life from a-far and comment on it.  I knowingly put myself out there; and, I have learned to just not read what other people are saying about me.  I don’t have a problem with making fun of myself; and, while sometimes people cross the line in making fun of me and it stings a little, I don’t have a problem with other people making fun of me.

Here’s some stuff you don’t hear about me or won’t hear – because it’s not scandalous or salacious:

I have worked really hard over the past several years to develop a viable freelance career.  I got on board with BitchBuzz when it was just an idea in Cate & Iain’s heads.  Before that I wrote for another women’s lifestyle network.  During that time I’ve chased stories and gotten scoops and developed a really nice looking professional portfolio of my writing.  I’m finally making headway with my writing — as in — getting paid for it.  And, I’m proud of what I contribute to the greater conversation of life.  Be it from a DIY article for Stu to an interview for Cate to even just proffering forth my opinion on how the world works in the digital age.

I actually got pitched today by the PR agency I used to work for.  That’s a sign of good writing in a publication which has great metrics.  PR peeps are paid to get traction for their clients in relevant publications where potential customers will see them.

I have been in talks with a couple of really high end publications about doing some stringing for them.  I got those offers because of the hard work I put in covering Comic Con.  Yes – COVERING.  I didn’t just go and dick around down there (though I clearly would have loved to do just that.)  I worked 14-16 hour days – attending briefings and panels and networking and pitching.  I would go down to the conference center early, early in the morning and return to the hostel I was staying at long after the con had closed for the day, eat something – have a beer – talked to my friend T – and, collapsed into bed.  I interviewed four amazing people while I was there.  My exclusive chat with Jonathan Ross crashed BitchBuzz due to the amount of hits we got.

I feel a little defensive about that trip – “Kat” and “Turd” have said that I just stood in line for autographs and reposted what people were doing or saying on the panels I attended.  This is really inaccurate.  I was fully credentialed at CCI as a member of the press.  I chased down interviews with Janina Gavankar and Jonathan Ross.  I was pitched by a publicity manager and subsequently interviewed Britteny Powell from Saftety Geeks.  I worked my ass off trying to get an interview with a member of the Doctor Who production team or David Tennant.  Yeah, I stood in line for an autograph w/Russell T. Davis – I just happened to be passing by as he was signing and YES I’m a big Doctor Who fan (and, not just of the ones with David Tennant, I’ve been watching that series since I was a kid) and of course I jumped on the opportunity to have a keepsake from CCI.  I worked my ass off while there and deserved the one moment to be a fangirl.

I was told by one of my friends that “Kat” has now attacked me for being a “geek girl.”  Something about how I’m not really a geek – that I majored in theater and that disqualifies me.

Um, okay.  First I find that HILARIOUS coming from the woman who can’t even fucking turn her computer on w/out help.

Geek is not defined by technology alone.  But, if you want to go there, fine.  I’ve been using computers and advanced technology since I was 13 years old.  I am in the first wave of people who ever had a home PC that they used for something other than a glorified word processor and I’ve been online since 1987.

Further: I worked in consumer technology public relations; and, at a social entertainment startup at the managment level.

I’m rather tech savvy and while I’m not a coder or a scientist or something else “Kat” sees as geek – I surely am a geek girl.

Yeah I dated a guy for three months who broke my heart.  So what?  You don’t really choose how you feel about people or how strongly you feel it.  Even though it was a hard hard situation for me I got through it and have moved on.

I have great friends and family whom I love so very much.  There is not a group of people I’d rather spend time with than them.  I’m really blessed to know fantastic people.  And, anyone of them can tell you that I give first, second, third and fourth chances to people who shit on me and treat me badly – because I have a forgiving and loving heart.

I actually thought about a week ago, “hm, I kind of miss Kat – I wonder what she’s up to.”  I saw some Flight of the Conchords thing online and it made me think of her.  I was about to email her; but, then decided not to – that not enough time had passed for me to be able to just be a distant and friendly acquaintance.  That talking to her might dredge up all the old drama; and, as I moved out to get AWAY from her drama – I didn’t want to bring it into my life as it stands now.

I’m seriously glad I didn’t.  Clearly “Kat” hasn’t moved past anything.  And, if you read her words you can hear the anger in her voice as she talks about wholly inappropriate things — my family, my past relationships, my personal life…

One of the things she used to say to me all the time when we were fighting was that she “didn’t have time to think about my life.”

Clearly that isn’t true.  Seems as if it’s ALL she thinks about.

And there is a line you just don’t cross.  She’s crossed it.  And, now there will be real consequences for her and her sockpuppet boyfriend to face.

It’s a shame, really.  She’s a bright, bright woman and could do so many more interesting things with her life than blog about MY life.  And, “Turd” is… the only words I can think of are “pathetically co-dependent.”

Whatever, I suppose it’s the price you pay for having a strong online presence.  This is the end of it from me.  Next post will return to the intended purpose of this blog.  I have other things to focus my attention on than the pathetic obsession of a former friend who has an axe to grind with me.

[Image via This Distracted Globe]


7 Responses to “Sad obsession…”

  1. EBR Says:


    Hey Kate!

    Grammar. Learn it. Use it.
    Also, you’re a rather litigious person aren’t ya? You almost make it irresistibly fun to harass you.

    Maybe I will troll you after all. Maybe not. Probably not, if it means I have to read your exceedingly long, boring, self-aggrandizing, grammatically-deficient rants.

    I’ll think about it. Thanks for the invitation anyway!

  2. adorkablegrrl Says:

    How nit-picky. *rolls eyes*

    I’m not particularly litigious, actually — but, as the situation w/Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dipshit has gotten out of hand I felt it best to consult someone for advice on how to protect myself. Whereas the online stuff they’re posting is somewhat troubling to me – I’m really worried that they’re a.) bringing people into their drama who don’t have anything to do with it (my family, my ex-boyfriend) AND b.) it is my solid belief that Kat is unstable and potentially a danger in a different way.

    Can’t fault a girl for considering options when she feels threatened.

    You’re welcome to troll me – I actually have a pretty good sense of humor about trolls – y’all are funny and weird and you make me snicker.

    Didn’t have a problem with the Wonder Twins, either, until they denied being who they are and started dragging personal shit out of my life for people to examine w/out my permission.

    As my friend Rosie said — I actually like conversation and back and forth online — it’s why I blog. I don’t expect people to agree with me or to like me or to even be civil about how they express themselves to me. But, there is a distinct difference between an anon troll poking at what you’re writing and a person who knows you IRL who has an axe to grind.

  3. roseyposey Says:

    Since it’s poop on Kate day I am jumping on the bandwagon to say…

    A big ‘fuck you’ for the “Ohio is hardly fancy or foreign”. Only I can talk that kind of shite about Ohio. Everyone is rightly jealous that your Mom flys you there. It’s like getting flown to Monaco without the whole “having to talk French” issue. As a friend, you too have to be ridiculously nice about Ohio and act jealous of my bitchin’ 216 area code.

    Also, according to TL;DR incomplete sentences aren’t apart of grammar.

    • adorkablegrrl Says:

      God damn it – I just took a shower to wash off the poop pooped upon me earlier, Rosie…


      ❤ you darling. Let's have cocktail chat tomorrow nite, eh?

  4. roseyposey Says:

    Oh I am sorry. We don’t have cocktails in Ohio. They are foreign and how do you say…”fancy”?

    We can have a Coors Light chat.

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