File under I <3 Valleywag: Bill Shattner blocks psycho on Twitter

August 13, 2009
Dont worry - Bill will save your marriage with his... uh... big taser?

Don't worry - Bill will save your marriage with his... uh... big taser?

I was totally bummed when Valleywag was absorbed into the larger Gawker publication.  Personally, I thought that there was a-plenty of Silicon Valley gossip to fuel the publication on its own accord.  (I know that when I did consumer tech PR that much of my time was tasked towards keeping Valleywag photogs away from a prominent and quite salaciously sexy social networking CEO who has a rep for being a bit of a party boy… I’ll let you guess which one I’m talking about… ha.)

Nothing is really better than HAVING to read Valleywag for work.  Well except reading Valleywag for sport.  Which is what I do now – when they post.  Generally, I only go over to Gawker to read about the Hipster Grifter – (they’re making a Law & Order about Kari Ferrell!  Dude!  And, right when I don’t have cable that reruns L&O every hour on the hour!  Damn!)  Every once in a while they post a VW article that catches my eye.  And, today is one of those days…

Psychos Are the Most Interesting Thing On Twitter

This snark-a-thon is well timed to follow on the heels of Tuesday’s DDoS attack on Twitter that was allegedly pepetrated by covert spy guys in the Kremlin to shut up Georgian political Tweeper, Cyxymu (see the crazy-ass Times Online article for more hi-tothe-larious conspiracy theories.)

(We know that Captain Bill has magical powers; but, who knew before now that saving some random person’s marriage was among them?)

I mean – say what you want about me or ANYONE else who overuses the Internet and Twitter and other platforms of the like for the sole purpose of actin’ a fool — at least I’ve never been blocked by @WilliamShattner (Bill!) for being a complete nutbar.

Though that is a new goal I suppose I could strive towards now that I have had an ED article written about me, slam book blog devoted to me and anonymous trolls devoted solely to hating my guts… Next steps in infamy, get blocked on Twitter by a celeb?  Pff.  Even I’m not that insane.  Though I’m sure if I devoted myself to it I’d be mere steps away from securing my very own WIRED cover… !!!!

I have to say for the record – Bloggess is a complete trainwreck of crazy fun to read.  Check her out if you’re so inclined or if you need to make yourself feel a little more sane.

I’m in awe of this blog and have decided that I TOTALLY want to be Bloggess when I grow up or stop taking medication to contain the voices in my head –which ever comes first.

Complete @Bloggess psycho babble one sided Tweet convo w/@WilliamShatner below the cut, courtesy of the Gawker network:

  • “Dear @ WilliamShatner: I need you to come to my house to save my marriage. No sex involved.”
  • “Unless you *want* to have sex. Which is totally fine.”
  • “But not with me though because I’m married. Please bring your own hooker.”
  • “Oh my God, what am I saying? I am the worst hostess ever. I will totally provide the hooker if you just come to dinner.”
  • “I need to know your preferences though or else I’ll just default to hot Asian cheerleader.”
  • “Fuck. Dear @WilliamShatner. Please ignore my last several tweets. I’m a little drunk. And dangerously close to paying too much for travel.”
  • “Please come to my house and save me from myself.”
  • “Please give me a sign.”
  • “Victor: GET OFF TWITTER. I’VE BEEN STABBED.” (Not addressed directly to Shatner)
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